Anniversary Angst
by ReginaMillsFics
Summary: It is Emma and Regina's anniversary and everything seems to be perfect. That is until a ghost from Regina's past nearly ruins everything. TW for allusions to past rape and its aftermath.


**Before reading please bear in mind that this fic deals heavily with the concept of consent. Although there are no explicit rape scenes, it is heavily implied and is a prominent theme that could be triggering for some. **

* * *

It was their second anniversary and Emma was determined to make it count. They'd both been insanely busy all week thanks to Will Scarlet and his repeated acts of burglary and vandalism. So much so that they'd barely even seen each other, despite living in the same house. Tonight was different though. Henry was staying with his grandparents and she'd bribed Mulan into covering her shift at the station. Even if Scarlet caused trouble yet again, it wouldn't be her problem for once.

She'd spent the last week planning their perfect evening. They'd decided last year that they'd take turns planning each anniversary and it was her turn to spoil Regina rotten. She had an entire three course dinner planned- one that she'd actually practised a couple of times in her parents' kitchen to make sure she wouldn't mess it up. There were flowers and candles and gifts scattered all over the house. Emma wanted Regina to feel completely surrounded by love. There were even a couple of 'special' gifts she'd specifically chosen for the final part of their evening. They were waiting in the centre of their bed waiting to be opened and tested until both women were sweaty, boneless messes. Honestly, the thought of them had been driving her wild all day.

Emma had just put the finishing touches to her make up when she heard the front door slam shut. She knew from experience that meant Regina had had a terrible day. It was time to sweep her wife off her feet and shower her with love. She knew she could put a smile on the other woman's face with what she had planned.

She checked her reflection one last time before heading downstairs in search of Regina. She eventually found her in the study knocking back an overly full glass of cider.

"Happy Anniversary Regina," she said in way of greeting from the doorway.

Regina turned around, her now empty glass till clutched tightly in her hand. The way her eyes lit up made every minute Emma had spent getting ready completely worth it. "Happy Anniversary dear," Regina practically purred, "you look exquisite." She knew the tight emerald green dress that came to just above her knee had always been a favourite of Regina's, which was the exact reason she'd chosen it.

Emma quickly closed the gap between them and kissed her until her lungs screamed in protest. Unfortunately for them, the oven timer began beeping wildly before either of them could give into the temptation to take things further.

"Dinner's ready!" Emma informed her partner happily. Judging by the mouth-watering smell wafting through the house, everything had gone to plan.

Emma led Regina into the dining room and sat her at the immaculately set table, before hurrying out to turn the oven off. She plated up the first course quickly but carefully before re-joining Regina, who had already made a start on the wine. "That smells delicious Emma! What are we having?"

"I've gone all Italian for tonight. We have bruschetta to start, Chicken Parmesan for the main course and then Tiramisu for dessert."

Regina was practically salivating at the mention of dessert. Emma knew how addicted she was to all things sugary, even if she'd never admit it to any other living soul. "Sounds delicious my love, thank you."

* * *

They had long ago finished eating but they remained at the table swapping stories and gifts. Emma knew Regina wouldn't have been able to resist buying her something, just as she hadn't been able to resist the year before. After all, neither of them were very good at playing by the rules.

The evening had been absolutely perfect so far even if Emma had considered cutting off Regina's alcohol supply a couple of times. The brunette had managed to get through most of the wine on her own and Emma had learned the hard way that wine made Regina incredibly sleepy. Combined with how tired they both were anyway after such a busy week, Emma was slightly concerned Regina would be fast asleep before they got to try any of their new toys.

She quickly realised how justified her fears were when Regina's eyes started drooping half way through a sentence. She had planned for them to watch a movie first but it looked like it was time to jump to the main event.

After standing and stretching her aching muscles, Emma took Regina's hand and gently pulled her to her feet. "There's a few more surprises for you yet," she said with a wink, "they're waiting upstairs."

The two woman walked upstairs, their hands never releasing their hold on each other until they were standing next to the bed.

Emma lightly pushed Regina backwards until she was lying on her back before quickly stripping herself and her love of all their clothes. She had planned on trying to impress Regina with a strip tease but her desperation to feel the other woman's skin against her own overwhelmed her. _Screw it_ she thought to herself as she climbed onto the bed too.

Her lips latched onto Regina's for a few moments before trailing down the familiar slopes of her neck and breasts. She continued slowly downwards over a toned stomach until they reached the place they'd been desperate to explore since Regina had chosen to wear _that_ skirt this morning. God she loved that skirt.

It was only as she considered exactly how aroused Regina always managed to make her that she noticed the same didn't seem to be true for the other woman tonight. Unusually, she wasn't wet at all. Emma literally couldn't think of a single time Regina hadn't been dripping for her. Poor Ruby was continually forced to smell exactly how turned on each woman got at the mere sight of the other, the Curse of the Wolf she liked to call it.

Emma pulled back and really studied the brunette. She had her eyes clamped tightly shut in what could easily be mistaken for pleasure, however, now Emma was paying closer attention, she also noticed how limp Regina's body was and how quiet she was. Constant writhing and moans loud enough to wake the neighbours were what Emma was used to dealing with… not this silent stillness. Emma had become a bit of an expert at reading Regina, at least when she wasn't so blinded by her lust, and she suddenly felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over her. Something was definitely wrong.

"Regina?" Emma asked in a whisper. She grabbed an olive hand from her where she was still knelt between Regina's legs. "What's wrong?"

Even though the brunette remained silent, the way she flinched slightly spoke volumes. Emma climbed from her spot by Regina's centre and sat crossed legged on the mattress beside her wife.

"Regina, I need you to open your eyes and look at me. You're scaring me."

After a few moment's hesitation, Regina did as she was told, albeit reluctantly. The tears that she'd been holding in spilled over the second she allowed her lids to open. She kept her gaze fixed on Emma's hand rather than looking up at her face.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Emma asked, seriously starting to freak out at the sight of Regina crying. She knew that her panic would only make things worse though so she tried to keep her voice calm. "Did I hurt you?"

Regina shook her head emphatically.

"Okay so what's going on?"

Emma gave Regina's hand what she hoped was a comforting squeeze but instead of squeezing back, Regina pulled the limb back down towards her centre. "Nothing," she lied, "just carry on."

"No!" Emma snatched her hand back and ran it through her own hair as she took a deep breath. "We're not doing this when you're upset. It's making me feel like you don't even want to be here."

Emma had been expecting an instant denial but all Regina did was flinch slightly again.

"I'm right aren't I? You don't want this?"

Regina sucked her lip between her teeth and sighed, the tears were still pooling in her dark eyes. "I'm just tired Emma. It's fine. You should carry on."

"Of course it's not fine if you don't want it!" Emma knew her frustration was probably unfair but she didn't understand what was going on. When did everything go so wrong? "Why didn't you tell me to stop?"

Regina scooted back to lean against the headboard and pulled her knees up to her chest protectively. "Because you've been so excited about this and I'm your wife."

"Well of course I was excited, but that doesn't mean you're obliged to sleep with me!"

As the words left her mouth, everything suddenly clicked into place. She didn't want to imagine the kind of wifely duties and obligations Regina had previously been expected to perform. Even the thought made her want to be sick. Emma had learnt about her wife's past over the years through tearful conversations and some guesswork. She knew all the good, the bad and the downright ugly parts of her history and which topics not to bring up unless she wanted to give Regina nightmares for the next two weeks. Yet she's always assumed that Regina knew it was firmly in the past. None of that could hurt her any more. Emma wouldn't let it.

"Regina Mills I need you to listen to what I'm about to say." Emma looked deep into Regina's eyes, ensuring she had her full attention. "You always have a choice and you can always so no to me. Our sex life is amazing but it's not why I love you. I will love you and value you with or without it. I will never do anything without your consent because-"

Emma's stomach dropped impossibly further. Regina had obviously planned on letting her do whatever she liked tonight without saying anything. What if this wasn't the first time? _Oh God._ Had she raped her wife? She leapt from the bed and ran to the toilet before losing the entire contents of her stomach.

Regina was behind her within seconds, lovingly pulling back her hair and rubbing circles on her back. How could Regina still stand to be with her after what she'd done? She didn't even realise she'd been crying until the brunette wiped the pad of her thumb under each eye.

"Emma," Regina pulled her away from the toilet and down onto the floor to sit on her lap, "I'm so sorry. It's the first time," she assured, somehow seeming to know what was troubling her so much, "I promise you this hasn't happened before. Please don't do this to yourself. Everything is fine."

Emma had willingly slumped into her wife's arms until she realised she shouldn't be accepting the comfort. She sure as hell didn't deserve it. She should get up and leave before she did anything else to hurt the woman she loved.

Regina tightened her hold on the blonde as if she yet again knew what was running through her mind. "This isn't your fault. You noticed nearly straight away, my love, even when I didn't want you to. You know me better than anyone else in this world or any other. I love you with all my heart. I'm so very sorry Emma."

"Don't apologise. This isn't your fault either, but please promise me you'll always tell me. I can't… I can't be one of the people who hurts you like that."

"I promise," Regina vowed, sealing the deal with a kiss. "Come to bed. We both need to sleep. And maybe tomorrow if we're both up to it, you could show me the rest of my surprises?"

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**Please let me know what you thought. This is actually based on the head canon of a friend so I hope I did it justice!**


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